I had the privilege of sharing our story while in college in a story slam. The video is a bit lengthy, but it describes the frustration in our lives perfectly.
VIDEO SYNOPSIS: I describe our brotherly relationship and a time when Josh was throwing these violently physical tantrums. I was always the first person to respond. At one point in high school, I was pulled out from class daily to "deal with him". This took a toll on me. It's a reason I left for college. At the end I realized I never acknowledged Joshua's feelings and the important role we both play for each other.
Over a year later, we still experience those same sentiments.
As one who lives with or cares for such person with a diagnosis, there is no running away from the hard stuff. In fact, there's no running away for anyone. We all have difficult days; we all just want to quit sometimes.
And that's okay.
In the short 22 years of living, I've realized that conflict and hardships will always happen.
If not for you right now, surely for someone you love. And the only response I can offer is "It's Okay." It is the only response that comforts me when I find myself frustrated with Joshua's circumstance. It's the only response I can give Josh when comes home lost, confused, and a bit hopeless at finding purpose in his life.
Sometimes that's the only thing we need to hear. We need the assurance from an external source to give us that confidence of tomorrow for our troubles today. No pep-talks, no advice, not a Buzzfeed "10 things you can do to make things better".
Because there is no amount of preparedness that can armor your vulnerable heart; no voice-automated guide to assist you when all goes afire.
We just need to be told that it's normal to feel things--a validation of our human beingness.
Know that you're not alone.
I know that out there, you have someone that loves you, many people even. No matter what it is you go through, these people will love you unapologetically and fervently. For them, whatever your circumstances, their love for you is never compromised.
There will be hard days. We will get frustrated, have our heart broken, experience failure.
And that's ok. You're not alone.
Above all else, never let this cease:
YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THE TROUBLES YOU FACE.
YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE (PSALMS 139:14)
AND YOU ARE LOVED.
The Best Is Yet To Come.
Running With Wheels: